So faithful. So constant. So loving and so true.
So powerful in all You do.
You fill me. You see me.
You know my every move
and You love for me to sing to You.
I know that You are for me.
I know that You are for me.
I know that You will never,
forsake me in my weaknesses
I know that You have come now,
even if to write upon my heart.
To remind me who You are.
So patient, So gracious,
So merciful and true…
So wonderful in all You do.
You know me. You see me.
You know my every move.
You love for me to sing to You
Lord, I know that You are for me.
I know that You are for me.
I know that You will never,
forsake me in my weaknesses.
I know that You have come now,
even if to write upon my heart.
To remind me that
I know that You are for me.
I know that You are for me.
I know that You will never,
forsake me in my weaknesses.
I know that You have come now,
even if to write upon my heart.
To remind me who You are.
I know that You are for me.
I know that You are for me.
I know that You will never,
forsake me in my weaknesses.
I know that You will come now,
even if to write upon my heart.
To remind me of who You are.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
G.L.A.B.
God Loves Andrew Browne.
This is something that has been proven time and time again in my life, and today I was again reminded of this, but for this let me back up a few months.
In October or November when I first started my journey of finding new work I only applied for two jobs. The first was the job that I am currently doing here in Edmonton for the certification firm. The second was a job that would have sent me overseas - to Libya. As I was pondering the decision I just didn't feel at peace about it, and when I was offered the job to work in Edmonton, I immediately took it, and didn't worry about hearing back from the Libya position.
As we fast forward to today, as I was watching The National with my roommate today, they were talking about the uprisings in Tripoli (where I would have been posted in Libya). It turns out that with these uprisings all of the foreign business people are having to flee. That could have been me. I could have been stuck in the middle of a civil war. Bullets flying by me as I try to leave.
Recently I have had trouble believing that I really register on God's radar. Don't get me wrong, I know that He loves me. I know that He cares for. I know that I am His favorite (and for the record, you are His favorite too). I know all of this, but I don't really deep down believe it some days.
Father,
You are beautiful. Your grace and mercy continue to surpass my understanding. I know not how You - a perfect divine Being - can love a person such as I. I so often can not even find love for myself.
Help me Lord to the place of acceptance. Help me to believe your promises. Let me grab a hold of them and not let go! I see you seated in a pasture, calling for me and waiting for me. I long to exist at your feet and to never leave. Show me the way to remove the barriers between us. Let nothing come between us.
~your child
Friday, February 4, 2011
Measurements
I wanted to quickly get my measurements up here from today:
Chest: 51"
Abdomen: 55"
Hips: 50.5"
Weight (measured at end of day): 317.2 lbs
.... I don't have much to say about any of this, other than the fact that I feel sick about them.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Day 1 ... ish
Well today was supposed to be the day everything started perfectly, and it definitely didn't happen the way I planned.
As for my starting weight in this whole adventure: 312.8 lbs. Everything from here on out will be evaluated against this. That means that my goal of 60 lbs will have me down to 252.8 lbs in 6 months.
On the diet side of things, I was so busy with getting my desk set up and everything related to that, that I ended up not making lunch last night, or really having any idea what I was going to do for breakfast. So that meant when I woke up I thought of doing something, but didn't really know exactly what I should do. But tomorrow I have a plan, so it will be much better. I also talked to my brother who is doing the diet (along with his wife) and got some more tips and tricks from him.
On the working out side, I didn't go this morning as I was too nervous with getting ready for work and getting to work on time that I didn't go this morning. And I forgot to take my workout gear in my freezing car this morning, so I didn't go after work.
Things should be better for tomorrow though. This wasn't the best way to start, but I am all about ending well on this!
Washed By The Water by Needtobreathe
Even when the rain falls
Even when the flood starts rising
Even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water
Daddy was a preacher
She was his wife
Just tryin to make the world a little better
You know, shine a light
People started talking
Trying to hear their own voice
Those people tried to accuse my father
Said he made the wrong choice
Though it might be painful
You know that time will always tell
Those people have long since gone
My father never failed
Even if the Earth crumbles under my feet
Even if the ones I love turn around and crucify me
I won’t never ever let you down
I won’t fall
I won’t fall
I won’t fall as long as you’re around me
Even when the flood starts rising
Even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water
Daddy was a preacher
She was his wife
Just tryin to make the world a little better
You know, shine a light
People started talking
Trying to hear their own voice
Those people tried to accuse my father
Said he made the wrong choice
Though it might be painful
You know that time will always tell
Those people have long since gone
My father never failed
Even if the Earth crumbles under my feet
Even if the ones I love turn around and crucify me
I won’t never ever let you down
I won’t fall
I won’t fall
I won’t fall as long as you’re around me
Over the past few weeks this song has really encouraged me. If you have known me for long enough you'll know that my family went through quite a rough time when my dad (who was a pastor) was required to resign from the church we had called home for years.
I remember so vividly what it was like when the rain was falling and the floods were rising. It was utter chaos. I didn't know where to turn. Thankfully the Lord cleansed us and we have seen so much fruit come out of my families sorrow.
I think that the what this song says is so true. It doesn't matter what is happening around us, we won't fall as long as the Lord is around us - and He has promised to never leave us nor forsake us.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
This ending is just another beginning
Good evening everyone.
I don't know if anyone still looks at this site, and I don't know if I care. I just need a place to put my thoughts, and it takes so much longer for me to write them down as compared to typing. So here it goes.
The past year has brought me many changes. I have felt love, and lost it. I have been the catalyst for change in my life, and have both succeeded and failed. I have moved away from my life and lived a transient life between Fort McMurray and Edmonton, and now moved back. I have pursued a career, and now sit on the edge of starting a new one.
It has been a year of many ups, and very many downs.
On Monday I start a new chapter. It sparks the beginning of a new career. I left my career with Kiewit as of the 14th of this month, and to be blatantly honest ... I am scared for what it brings. I don't know if I will like where I am going to be working, of if I will enjoy this new career. But I trust that as the Lord has provided it to me, that this is the path that He has provided for me.
Monday is also the day that I am restarting my pursuit of health and wellness. Last February I started working out and eating healthy and lost about 20 lbs. I fell off the bandwagon, and a few months later was sent to Fort McMurray, and I pretty much stopped the pursuit of health and wellness.
I currently stand at approximately 315 lbs, and I am scared for what that means. I look at myself in the mirror, and I hate what I see. When I go out in public I am always afraid of what others think. I blame my lack of success with finding "Mrs. Right" on it. And when I go backpacking with my friends, I hold them back so much that they have had to carry my backpack on every major trip we have been on.
Now, I would like to say that I have been better in the past year. With being up in Fort McMurray I was able to approximately maintain my weight, but that isn't good enough. Being obese is something that drastically affects my life. I have little or no self-image.
So on this Monday, January 31st I am going to start my transformation. My immediate goal is to loose 60 lbs in the next 6 months. Currently, based on the BMI scale, and using my height as 6'3", I have a BMI of 39.4. By loosing 60lbs I will be down to a weight of 255 lbs, giving me a BMI of 31.9 (still obese, as obese is a BMI of 30 or over) but better.
In one year, I would be quite pleased if I lost 100lbs (quite a way to mark my quarter century), and therefore had me down at 215lbs. This would put me at a BMI of 26.9, and would be just slightly overweight (as overweight is between 25 and 30).
I can't remember the last time I was below 240lbs. With being overweight it has meant that I have not went to a family doctor - as I have been afraid of them giving me a lecture about my weight, so I don't know if I have any record of my weight. I know when I was in Jr. High school I was around 180ish, and in High School I was easily in the 230 or 240 range. Below is a picture of me when I was in High school, and one of me almost 2 years ago (not a ton has changed with the way I look since then).
I also have set a fitness goal for myself. In August (I am being a bit wishy washy here because I don't know what work will be like then) I am going to do a 40km day hike in the mountains. Penner and I are going to train for this together over the coming weeks and months by hiking up and down the river valley - in combination with my training plan. I wanted to say that I would hike the Skyline Trail (at about 55km), but I think in 6 months that may be unachievable.
On Monday I will be taking my official before pictures (or more correctly getting my roommate to take them), as well as taking measurements of my arms, chest, abdomen, hips, and thighs.
The eating plan I am going to be starting on will be the Slow-Carb diet as outlined in the 4 Hour Body by Tim Ferriss (4HB). It is basically a strict diet where you limit yourself to high protein and vegetable diet for 6 days a week, and then on the 7th day you binge and eat whatever you want. The philosophy behind this is that by indulging on one day a week you will first of all make it realistic to keep up with your diet - as you aren't cutting out some of these 'cheat' foods - but that you also throw your body into a bit of a tailspin in regards to your insulin, and therefore keep your body on its toes.
I was originally going to use Saturday as my cheat day, but it looks like Penner and I will be using that day as our day for our death-march (as I have aptly named it) training. So I will be using Sunday as my cheat day.
As for working out, I am going to be pushing my body as hard as I can. To start, I want to commit to working out every weekday morning (and tentatively I will be swimming for those workouts at least 30 minutes ... but we'll see), and then working out 3 out of the 5 weeknights (Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday). And then Saturdays will be reserved for my death-marches. In my weeknights I plan on focusing on weights, and possibly during the off nights do 30 minutes of brisk walking or some sort of Yoga. Sundays will be a day off for my body to rest.
Penner has said that he cannot commit to doing the long death-marches with me every weekend, so I am going to try and do my long marches with him, and do smaller ones on the weeks that I am not with him. I think to start (as you need to pick somewhere) I will do 10k by myself, and 20k with him. If we average about 4km/hr that would be a 5hr hike with Penner every 2 weeks.
Since my new job will include some traveling, I am committing to doing workouts in my hotel room at least once per day. I will bring some resistance bands with me on my suitcase, and find some workouts that I can do, as not to fall off the bandwagon.
During my weeknights off, I will be filling them up with some sort of a small group through church to help my spiritual self be fed, and during the other one I will be looking for a place to volunteer my time.
Finally, I hope to use this blog to track my ups and downs, my successes and failures, and just my overall story.
I am sure that in the coming weeks and months my workout and diet plans will change - possibly drastically - but to me right now it seems like this is as good of plan as any to reach the goals I have set for myself.
At the very least I am aiming to post updates at least twice a week, and posting weight updates weekly, and measurement updates monthly.
From here on out ... this is my weight loss story ...
I don't know if anyone still looks at this site, and I don't know if I care. I just need a place to put my thoughts, and it takes so much longer for me to write them down as compared to typing. So here it goes.
The past year has brought me many changes. I have felt love, and lost it. I have been the catalyst for change in my life, and have both succeeded and failed. I have moved away from my life and lived a transient life between Fort McMurray and Edmonton, and now moved back. I have pursued a career, and now sit on the edge of starting a new one.
It has been a year of many ups, and very many downs.
On Monday I start a new chapter. It sparks the beginning of a new career. I left my career with Kiewit as of the 14th of this month, and to be blatantly honest ... I am scared for what it brings. I don't know if I will like where I am going to be working, of if I will enjoy this new career. But I trust that as the Lord has provided it to me, that this is the path that He has provided for me.
Monday is also the day that I am restarting my pursuit of health and wellness. Last February I started working out and eating healthy and lost about 20 lbs. I fell off the bandwagon, and a few months later was sent to Fort McMurray, and I pretty much stopped the pursuit of health and wellness.
I currently stand at approximately 315 lbs, and I am scared for what that means. I look at myself in the mirror, and I hate what I see. When I go out in public I am always afraid of what others think. I blame my lack of success with finding "Mrs. Right" on it. And when I go backpacking with my friends, I hold them back so much that they have had to carry my backpack on every major trip we have been on.
Now, I would like to say that I have been better in the past year. With being up in Fort McMurray I was able to approximately maintain my weight, but that isn't good enough. Being obese is something that drastically affects my life. I have little or no self-image.
So on this Monday, January 31st I am going to start my transformation. My immediate goal is to loose 60 lbs in the next 6 months. Currently, based on the BMI scale, and using my height as 6'3", I have a BMI of 39.4. By loosing 60lbs I will be down to a weight of 255 lbs, giving me a BMI of 31.9 (still obese, as obese is a BMI of 30 or over) but better.
In one year, I would be quite pleased if I lost 100lbs (quite a way to mark my quarter century), and therefore had me down at 215lbs. This would put me at a BMI of 26.9, and would be just slightly overweight (as overweight is between 25 and 30).
I can't remember the last time I was below 240lbs. With being overweight it has meant that I have not went to a family doctor - as I have been afraid of them giving me a lecture about my weight, so I don't know if I have any record of my weight. I know when I was in Jr. High school I was around 180ish, and in High School I was easily in the 230 or 240 range. Below is a picture of me when I was in High school, and one of me almost 2 years ago (not a ton has changed with the way I look since then).
I also have set a fitness goal for myself. In August (I am being a bit wishy washy here because I don't know what work will be like then) I am going to do a 40km day hike in the mountains. Penner and I are going to train for this together over the coming weeks and months by hiking up and down the river valley - in combination with my training plan. I wanted to say that I would hike the Skyline Trail (at about 55km), but I think in 6 months that may be unachievable.
On Monday I will be taking my official before pictures (or more correctly getting my roommate to take them), as well as taking measurements of my arms, chest, abdomen, hips, and thighs.
The eating plan I am going to be starting on will be the Slow-Carb diet as outlined in the 4 Hour Body by Tim Ferriss (4HB). It is basically a strict diet where you limit yourself to high protein and vegetable diet for 6 days a week, and then on the 7th day you binge and eat whatever you want. The philosophy behind this is that by indulging on one day a week you will first of all make it realistic to keep up with your diet - as you aren't cutting out some of these 'cheat' foods - but that you also throw your body into a bit of a tailspin in regards to your insulin, and therefore keep your body on its toes.
I was originally going to use Saturday as my cheat day, but it looks like Penner and I will be using that day as our day for our death-march (as I have aptly named it) training. So I will be using Sunday as my cheat day.
As for working out, I am going to be pushing my body as hard as I can. To start, I want to commit to working out every weekday morning (and tentatively I will be swimming for those workouts at least 30 minutes ... but we'll see), and then working out 3 out of the 5 weeknights (Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday). And then Saturdays will be reserved for my death-marches. In my weeknights I plan on focusing on weights, and possibly during the off nights do 30 minutes of brisk walking or some sort of Yoga. Sundays will be a day off for my body to rest.
Penner has said that he cannot commit to doing the long death-marches with me every weekend, so I am going to try and do my long marches with him, and do smaller ones on the weeks that I am not with him. I think to start (as you need to pick somewhere) I will do 10k by myself, and 20k with him. If we average about 4km/hr that would be a 5hr hike with Penner every 2 weeks.
Since my new job will include some traveling, I am committing to doing workouts in my hotel room at least once per day. I will bring some resistance bands with me on my suitcase, and find some workouts that I can do, as not to fall off the bandwagon.
During my weeknights off, I will be filling them up with some sort of a small group through church to help my spiritual self be fed, and during the other one I will be looking for a place to volunteer my time.
Finally, I hope to use this blog to track my ups and downs, my successes and failures, and just my overall story.
I am sure that in the coming weeks and months my workout and diet plans will change - possibly drastically - but to me right now it seems like this is as good of plan as any to reach the goals I have set for myself.
At the very least I am aiming to post updates at least twice a week, and posting weight updates weekly, and measurement updates monthly.
From here on out ... this is my weight loss story ...
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)